Like Clockwork
by ElleA Fhort
Summary: When Foaly looses connections to Fowl Manor, he sends Holly Short out to fetch the Mud Boy, Artemis Fowl, to help him. While in Haven, Artemis stays at Holly's place. But what happens when the human and elf are left alone? Many things...
1. At Opportunity's Place

**Hey! Before you read, let me inform you on something: First, this is my first piece of writing on here, so go easy on me.**

**Thanks and enjoy!**

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><p>A knock on Artemis Fowl's balcony door made him jump. He wasn't usually one to be surprised, but he had been slowly dozing off in front of his computer and the sudden noise shocked him.<p>

_Really…it's 3 A.M. and Holly just has to visit now? _He thought. Holly was his elf friend. She was a pretty elf with auburn hair and nut-brown skin. She had one hazel and one blue eye, her other hazel eye had been switched with Artemis' own.

The human opened the glass door, a cool blast of Dublin air hitting him in the face. Standing there, only a few centimeters above three feet, stood Holly. She was shivering in the cold April air. She was wearing her shimmer suit, a pair of wings, and her helmet. The elf raised her shaky hands and took off her helmet. She flickered her hair over her shoulder and looked up at Artemis, her cheeks glowing pink, her lips a soft shade of purple, and her breath visible in front of her face.

"Holly…what are you doing here?" He asked.

"Bef-fore I answer that…m-m-may I come in?" The female tried to warm herself up by rubbing her hands up and down her arms.

Artemis only really just realized the temperature outside and nodded. "Of course." He stepped out of the way as the small body whizzed past him. She dropped by the fireplace that bore an orange and yellow flame.

"Gods, Foaly…" she scolded to herself. "Why did you send _me _in _this _weather, eh? And my shimmer suit's heat insulation has broken..."

Artemis overheard this as he shut the sliding door. "Foaly sent you? What for?"

Holly looked over her shoulder, remembering she was at Fowl Manor. "Oh…yeah. Well, he sent me to get you. He needs some help with his files or something. I think he said his connection around Fowl Manor has just frozen; he can't get anything. So he wanted me to bring you to Haven to help him fix the problem."

The Irish teenager sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his throbbing temples.

"This early?"

"Well, _you_ were awake!" She argued. "Besides, I could let you stay at my house…"

Something like a bell rang inside of Artemis' head. The words _My House _stuck to the inside of his ears.

_Holly's house, eh? I can't deny that offer…_

"Alright," he announced.

"What?" Holly turned from the flame and looked at the boy.

"I'll stay…I mean help Foaly." Artemis walked over to his dresser.

"Oh…OK. I'll call Foaly and tell him. And pack a few pairs of clothing, Mud Boy. I won't be washing five different loads for one outfit. Oh, and you'll need your own toiletries. I am _NOT_ sharing my toothpaste or anything else for that matter!" Holly stood and walked towards the balcony door for privacy, but stopped in her tracks.

"Actually…" she thought aloud. She turned and headed to the other side of the room-going around the bed-and into the bathroom.

Artemis rolled his eyes and grabbed two pairs of pants. He smirked at some thoughts that crept into his mind.

A few days at Holly's place? No. A few days at opportunity's place.

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><p><strong>Whoa! Cliffhanger! :0 Haha! Just kidding! But stay tuned for Chapter 2. Here's a little sneak-peak: PIZZA! There you go. You'll have to read it to know what all happens. (Personally, I really like the next chapter. *snicker*)<strong>

**Don't forget to comment! ;D **


	2. Artemis' First Pizza!

**Greetings, my fellow Artemis Fowl fans! I'd just like to say-I love this chapter! Haha! It was fun to write! But I've been writing in the middle of the night so it may not be as good...or could it be? :O**

**I (unfortunatly) still do not own Artemis Fowl because, trust me, if I did, Butler would be out cold for weeks if you know what I mean...*wink wink***

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><p>"Alright, Mud Boy. We're here. But please resist the urge to break things!" Holly teased as she fiddled with her keys and the lock. She was used to automatic doors and digital ID cards...not these old things!<p>

"Holly," Artemis shook his head with annoyance and exhaustion. "Does that sound like me to go around breaking things?" All he got for a reply was a small snort from the female elf. The door _clicked _and swung open.

Holly descended in and sighed as she did. "Sometimes I cannot wait to be above ground flying like a bird! But then after dragging a human around while doing it is a real pain in the ass." The Captain descended through the hallway into a living room. Artemis chuckled to himself and entered, having to duck to get through the doorway. He could stand in the hall, but only just. The walls were a light yellow (_Well…this color won't look good next to my skin tone…) _and a few pictures hung on the walls.

Artemis saw one and stopped to look at it. It was of Holly as a teenager. Probably around his age…in human years. She didn't have any of her scars yet and her features seemed a tad less sharp. She seemed to be at a dance-she was wearing a short, green dress, her hair was pulled up in a loose bun, she had friends all around her, and she laughing.

The Irish boy couldn't help but smile genuinely. She looked so happy…lively. Her eyes seemed young, almost…child like.

This thought made him turn away. Had he caused more of her happiness to be lost? He couldn't bear the thought, so he moved on.

He entered the living room. It wasn't huge, but it was big enough for how many people were in the apartment then. On the wall next to him was a small, lime-green couch that matched the walls, (_Oh great! More bright colors!). _In the wall in front of it was a 40 inch TV. Also on that wall, directly in front of Artemis, was a hallway that led to the bedrooms. On the same wall the left of the hallway continued on was a fireplace. On the wall across from that were two more seats and a side table. Pictures hung in here as well. But what caught Artemis' eye was that above the fireplace, written in Gnomish, was a quote:

'_Love between two-no matter what species they are-lasts a lifetime and on,_

_-Trixie Romar.'_

Artemis held back a blush. Could she have put it up there because…

"ARTEMIS! ARE YOU LISTENING?" Holly shouted.

"I'm sorry…say again?" Artemis stammered.

"ARRGH!" The elf groaned. "_Listen _will you? I _said _how would you feel about pizza for dinner? There's a Pizzeria just down the road…"

"Pizza?" Artemis repeated. "I've never had pizza. Of course I've heard of it but I've never eaten it before. Besides, I've already had dinner. This would be...breakfast."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Alright, _breakfast. _And come on, you have to have this pizza! It's really good! Besides, I really have nothing to cook. Please, Artemis! There's a chance for everything!"

The teenager was about to argue, but then he remembered the picture in the hallway. Could he have…?

He sighed, once again being beaten by the same female elf for the fifth time in five years…probably. "Fine…I'll _TRY _it! If I don't care for it, I will just eat something else."

The young woman grinned to her ears and clapped her hands. "Finally! Alright, let me go change into regular clothes and we can leave." She turned around and almost skipped through the room to the hallway.

Artemis sighed and sat on the small couch. He had to slide down a little so his knees weren't angled up so high. He ran a hand through his hair and yawned. It was so early…for him at least. But he was hoping to make Holly at least a little happy while he stayed. Just a little…

Artemis and Holly walked to the Pizzeria, seeing as how Artemis was too big for Holly's elf scooter.

"Now…exactly what will be on the pizza we order?" Artemis asked, trying to fill the emptiness between the two.

"Well I suppose to suit your taste I'll get a cheese pizza and get black olives, banana peppers, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, and green peppers. Sound good enough?" The elf answered. She looked up at the boy waiting for him to nod or possibly make a face.

He only '_Hmmed,' _and nodded. "I suppose that will work. But they don't have anything like caviar?"

Holly raised any eyebrow and frowned. "Yes, Artemis. They have caviar that costs more than _I _could afford at a Pizza place with five dollar pizzas."

The Mud Boy raised his hands in defense. "Only a question!"

She sighed and looked forward. "They do have anchovies…nasty little creatures…bleh!"

Artemis chuckled and said, "If you hate them that much I think I will pass. That original plan sounds good enough for me. I just…don't like the thought of eating something so greasy with my fingers…"

"Come on, Arty!" Holly punched him playfully on the arm. "Man up!"

"Arty…?" He softly repeated. "Arty…"

They got there in only about three minutes after that.

"Artemis, you go get a table while I order. It will only take about five minutes for them to prepare it," Holly instructed when they walked in.

"Got it," he replied. Artemis looked around for a two-person table. He found a small booth that could hold about four people. He sat down and tried to find the most comfortable position to sit in the small fairy booth. It was like an eleven year-old trying to fit into a toddler's play booth.

This Pizza Place didn't really have a theme. The floors were carpeted grey and the walls were white.

Where Artemis sat, he could see Holly's back as she ordered. She had changed into a pair of jeans and lavender shirt that fit her figure almost perfectly. He couldn't help but notice how she didn't have any sharp angles on her anywhere.

As he sat there admiring her, he only just noticed her turn around and walk up to him.

"Here you go," she said, putting a plastic cup in his hands. "I don't think you'll have any trouble figuring out what it's used for."

"Of course not!" He protested. "I know a cup when I see one."

"Alright, Mud Boy," she almost laughed. She turned and went over to the fountain station. Artemis followed and looked at all the names he'd never seen before.

"You know," she whispered, "there's water right there." She pointed to a label that said _Water _in Gnomish. He nodded and got some. He went and sat back down. Holly followed and sat down in front of him.

"Three minutes," she said.

"Pardon?"

"The pizza, it'll be out in three minutes. What is going on with you, Mud Boy?" She asked, twisting a small bottle of hot sauce in her fingers.

"Nothing…tired. What's that for? Your pizza?" Artemis asked.

"Yup. I like a little bite to my pizza. What about you? I never really thought you'd be someone to like things spicy."

"S-stuff?" The boy's face pinkened a shade, thinking about what other things could neccessarily be _spicy_.

"Food! Gods, Artemis. If I hadn't known you for over five years, I'd easily disagree with you being a genius!"

"Oh…um…no. Not really. I don't really care for…err…spice to my foods."

Holly nodded. "Ah." She picked up a straw and ripped the paper off. She then slipped it into her drink and sipped on it.

Artemis tried his best to lean back. He watched Holly sip on her drink. He found a way to entertain himself by watching her throat whenever she swallowed the water. Then, she looked up at him. The sight of the blue and then the hazel…almost made Artemis puke with nerves.

_Maybe I should ask her about the picture…if I upset her… _he wondered. _Yes...it's now or never!_

"Uh…Holly?" He had to almost choke the words out. She stopped drinking and leaned back.

"Hmm?" She said, having still her mouth full of water. She swallowed. "Yeah , Arty? Is…something wrong?"

'_Arty'…oh gods…I feel sick…_

"Erm…no, nothing's wrong. I actually wanted to ask you something. I was wondering…if you e-"

"_Number 8, number 8! Pizza number 8 is ready!" _A voice said over by the cash register.

"Hold that thought," Holly told Artemis. She slid out of the booth and walked over to get their pizza.

The Irish teenager groaned and leaned his head way back. _I don't think I can do it…_

"Here we go…" The elf said as she set the pizza down. It was only four pieces, but the pieces were a little large. She sat back down and put two plates down on the table. She handed one to Artemis and picked up a piece.

"Ok. So, what did you want to ask?" Holly wondered.

"I was wondering…if…um…" He stammered. "Never mind. Let's just eat." He pushed his sleeves up, set a napkin in his lap, ("Really Artemis?") and picked up a slice.

He winced, feeling the grease seep through and onto his nicely manicured fingers. He looked up at Holly who was already a third of the way through.

Artemis looked down again at the food and brought it to his lips. He opened his mouth and bit into the juicy cheese and soft dough. He tore the piece off and watched a strand of cheese that held onto both the slice and the boy's tidbit of food. He pulled the rest of the slice farther back and the cheese snapped off. It fell onto the plate and inches from his clean pants.

From across the table, he heard giggles. He looked up and saw Holly, trying to resist the urge to burst out with laughter.

He chewed quickly and swallowed. Quickly for what reason? We'll never really know.

"So…?" Holly asked after swallowing her bite of pizza.

Artemis screwed up his face as he thought. "You know…it's not half bad. But I can assure you pizza will _never _be on my favorite foods list."

The elf rolled her eyes and took a bite out of the crust. The Mud Boy took a bigger bite out of his pizza, being sure to get _ALL _of the cheese bitten off.

They sat in silence really for the rest of the time eating. The pizza was almost all gone, their drinks were, and both were feeling a little full-Artemis even more as he had already eaten dinner.

Holly took another bite out of her pizza and set it down. "Ok…that's enough…I suppose it's time to pay…"

"No Holly, allow me…" Artemis said.

"Artemis…you have human money. They don't accept that. Here," she handed him a few gold coins. "Just go up and tell them it's for the number 8. Can you handle that?"

"Yes, I believe I can," the human huffed. He stood and walked over to the cash register.

Now it was Holly's turn to admire her different-species friend. She observed how he walked-it wasn't sloppy (like a certain dwarf she knew), but it wasn't gay…it was a good posture but not feminine.

She soon found herself lost in thoughts when Artemis turned around to come back. She looked forward and took a sip from her drink.

Artemis stood next to the table. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah…" She stood and left with the Mud Boy hurrying behind her.

At the same time, they both thought the same thing: _This is going to be one hard week…_

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><p><strong>Yes, yes it will be! Aha!<strong>

**Please review. Do it or I will mesmerize you to do it!**


	3. One Way or Another

**I suppose this would be a 'transition chapter' to get to a fun chapter. But this was kind of funny to think about. ;D**

**I do not own Artemis Fowl. That's probably for the best...**

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><p>Holly rarely had guests, if she even considered Artemis a 'guest.' He was more of a…eh…take-in. With this being so, she didn't have a guest room. Whenever someone did stay, they normally slept on the couch. A good, reasonable place.<p>

But now it was time to find a place for Artemis to sleep and the Mud Boy was being picky at the wrong time.

"I would have to either sleep with my legs up to my chest which would be too hard, or I would have to have my legs dangle over the sides, which wouldn't be good for anybody's posture," he was busy explaining while the now exhausted elf was controlling her temper.

"I already explained, Artemis! Those are the only places I have! Why can't you make it easy for me for _one_ night?" Holly complained. "Really…I'm really starting to get tired, I _know_ you're tired, so can you _please _say yes to the stupid couch for tonight and tomorrow after work I _PROMISE _I will go buy a blow-up mattress…another BED if I have to!"

The Irish boy only 'hmmed…' and looked at the couch, signaling he was still not set on it. Finally, something in the elf's mind just snapped, making all control of her temper fly away.

"LOOK, MUD BOY!" She yelled, pointing a finger at Artemis' face. She lowered her voice to a dangerous level. "I kindly agreed with Foaly that I'd allow you to stay here for a couple nights so you could help him. Think of all the times I've helped you; the last thing you could do was sleep on a clean couch for _ONE _night!" Then her voice rose once again. "SO IT'S EITHER THAT COUCH OR THE FLOOR! Now I'm going to go get ready for bed and in the mean time, you can decide."

The irritated elf turned and stormed to the hallway, swearing and muttering under her breath. In her mind, she knew he was going to break one way or another.

Holly walked back into the living room with green flannel pajama bottoms with thin mustard-yellow lines going vertically and a camisole that was the same color as the lines. Her short hair was pulled back (as much as it could be) in a hair clip.

The Captain's arms were crossed and she looked sly and much calmer than a few minutes ago. But what she saw erased all of her cockiness…

Artemis Fowl had found the basket of blankets next to the television, folded the largest so it was almost as big as he was and laid it on the floor. He had also put one of the couch's pillows on one of the ends of the folded blanket. Then he had gotten a smaller blanket and put that one on top of the other blanket, creating a floor pallet.

And sitting there with his normal, sly, goose-bump-creating smile was Artemis Fowl. The Second.

Holly slapped a hand to her face. "Well then…I think we got that answer. I should have known better than to think that you'd crack." She removed her hand and exhaled loudly. "You'd better get into your night clothes. Just…make a small pile of your dirty…err…" Holly realized how strange that word sounded at this moment. "…worn clothes next to your suitcase."

She turned around and just said with a flat tone, "I'm going to bed. Good-night." And she left.

Artemis snickered to himself. In his mind, he added a point under his name on the board of wins.

He almost laughed at the thought scrolling through his mind. _That's one more point Holly has to make up for if she wants to try catch up._

_Try…_

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><p><strong>Haha! Ah...that's funny. It's so like Artemis to annoy Holly. ;D<strong>

**Please don't forget to review! It's easy! Just click right down there...you know you want to! Come on! DO IT! DOOOOOOO IT!**


	4. Rise and Shine, Mud Boy!

**Hey, s'up peeps? It's good to see you again! Here' my next chapter! By the way, I would like to thank Owlgrrl for helping me see some mistakes I made-so thanks! And for those of you that are a little confused about this, let me explain what it is-The times. Yes, it was morning when they had pizza and now they're during P.M. But what I thought would happen in 'Fairy World' was that they would sleep during A.M. and early P.M. because the sun takes away their power and they go to work, school, etc. during night. SOOOOO...I hope this clears things up! ;D **

**I still do not own Artemis Fowl. If I did...there would be no existence of ArtemisxMinerva fans. Need I say more? :)**

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><p>Artemis Fowl was not a morning person. At least, not a before-sun-rise kind of person. Staying up all night working on business and money didn't help that fact; if anything, it worsened it, leaving him with only hours to rest. But then again...it wasn't morning for him. It was afternoon...oh well. (Faires are confsing creatures...or is it just humans?).<p>

So when he was awoken abruptly by a couch pillow hitting him in the head,-perfecly on target I should add-he wasn't the most chipper person in the world.

"Wakey, wakey, Mud Boy! Or as you humans say-Wake up, sleeping beauty!" Holly cried out to the Irish youth.

Now Holly Short on the other hand _was_ a morning riser...or nightly riser seeing as how night was morning to elves. She preferred to be the early bird, knowing that they were the ones that got the worm.

And now, introducing, Holly Short's morning routine-Steps 1, 2, and 3!

The young woman was always up by about 3 P.M. and ready for work by 4. It was currently 3:18 P.M. and the elf had been a little late getting up-4 minutes. She started by doing her morning stretches for best flexibility throughout the day-_Total Count of Minutes: 5._ Then she hit the shower for-obviously-freshness and hygiene-_Total Count of Minutes: 10_.

So that's where Holly was now. She had her hair in a towel wrap and she was holding a towel around her chest.

"Artemis-get up! Don't make me get a cold glass of water! I _will_ use it!" She continued. She heard the boy groan and turn over. She growled deep in her throat and tried to think of a way to get the stubborn teenager out of bed…or…whatever you'd like to refer it to.

_Blackmail? _She wondered. _If only! I'd have to think of something to use…AHA!_

She rocked back and forth on her feet, helping her take on an innocent voice. "Artemis, have you ever wondered how Butler would feel if he knew about what happened back at Rathdown Park? Just after I healed you…or possibly if he had heard all that Orion had said..."

If Artemis Fowl had been an elf his ears would have twitched. Instead, his eyes darted open.

He turned over a little so he could at least see the elf's face. She had on a look of triumph.

He croaked, trying to hide any trace of reluctance, "You wouldn't…"

"Oh," she replied, smirking even more. "But I would. But maybe I could discard the thought of Butler knowing if a certain Mud Boy got up and got ready for the work he agreed to!"

Artemis was silent for a moment's time, but thought it best not to test the feisty LEP Captain.

_One point to Holly…I guess she made up for that on last night, _he thought. He sat up and rubbed his face. He hardly remembered his dream, but he did recall that it was probably one of his favorites since his false dream about fairies and catching one around eight years ago…or was it five? (Gods, I really do hate the whole time-travel-y, three year jump, junk!)

The Irish youth stood; his legs were still rather wobbly from the long hours of sleep, resulting in a good bit of swaying back and forth. He felt his arms were rather tense, so he stretched and Holly rolled her eyes as he wasted more time.

"Hurry up, Mud Boy. Work is at 5 P.M." Holly instructed.

Artemis still didn't really have the strength to talk so he only nodded. He looked over to actually say something but the words were dragged straight from his mouth into oblivion, never to be found again. What happened? Well…as we all know Artemis Fowl at this time was sixteen and still experiencing puberty and his emotions were occasionally mixed up easily. So, when he could really see better and realized this female elf was only in a white towel, his thoughts were jumbled into a single thought that came out as:

"Aaaaaaaah…" which translates to, "Aaaaaaaah…" (It's not rocket science!)

Now Holly Short hadn't really had a boyfriend since she was about 19 in human years and he had for some reason saw it necessary to break her heart, and the poor elf-devastated at such a young age over something really important at that time-had always stayed a good distance away from dating since (well…only if Artemis' _'research' _rang true). And so, she had rather forgotten when a man…boy…male gets tongue twisted over her. That said, Holly only raised an eye at her human friend.

"I'm going to go get dressed. You need to do the same." She turned and walked to her bedroom.

Artemis Fowl still stood. He realized this and shook his head, as if trying to get the thoughts and images running through his head out. _Pull it together! It's just Holly…just Holly! _He turned to his bag and opened it up slowly.

_Just Holly…Holly…only Holly Short. Holly! Holly! Only…D'Arvit!_

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><p>Holly walked back in with her suit on and hair styled, but not yet dried. But Artemis was sitting on the couch, his arms crossed, and still in his sleep wear.<p>

"Artemis! You're supposed to be dressed! Why are you just sitting there?" Holly demanded, almost screaming.

"_I_ still need to shower," he said promptly.

Holly tried to blow a damp strand of auburn hair from her face. "Or are you just trying to annoy me?"

The Irish youth nodded. "Yes, that's about right. But I'm not joking about the shower either way. "

"Hmm…there _is _a problem with that. The water in Haven is probably too hot for a human," Holly noted, remembering how close to the Earth's core they really were.

Artemis-as expected-already knew how to answer this. "If it's _heated _naturally then maybe it's _cooled _like we humans' are heated. That said, can't you just put it on cold? I'm sure that would work."

Holly looked up at the ceiling, wondering if that would work. "Perhaps…you know…that just might work, Mud Boy. Ok, you can do that. The bathroom is right through my room-I think you can find it. From there, I'm positive you'll know how to work it."

"Thank you," Artemis stood, picking up a stack of his clean clothes next to him. He walked to the same hall Holly had been going in and out of the entire morning. After about a minute, the water was turned on.

Holly walked to the kitchen and opened a small cabinet. She pulled out a roll of fairy gauze. In her mind, she counted down: _Five, four, three, two, one…_

"D'ARVIT!" She heard Artemis scream. The elf couldn't hold back a smirk. But then she remembered that Artemis had probably cried out from pain and not something else so she hurried into her room.

She was reaching out for the doorknob and her hand stopped. Probably better safe than sorry.

"You dressed?" She called in.

"It's _'Are you dressed?' _and yes, I am!" Artemis replied with his voice still filled with sting. Holly turned the knob and walked in. Artemis was kneeling on the floor, holding his left hand tenderly. The water was still running, and Holly could guess he was trying to test the water, and it had still been hot.

"It takes a moment for it to cool down, nimrod!" Holly scolded him, squatting down next to him. "You may know a lot, but you need to read some books on common sense!"

The elf moved one of her hands under Artemis' burnt one and pulled it out a little to examine it closely. Amber sparks shot out of Holly's and seeped into the burns "Well, sure didn't spare you any kindness now did it?"

"No," the genius replied. "No it did not. Wait…we're talking about water! It doesn't _have _any mercy!" Artemis examined the magic sparks seeping into his hand.

"Oh shut up, Mr. No-Imagination!" Holly scolded. Even though the magic had helped seal the blisters, Artemis' hand was still a little burnt. Holly unwound a few inches of gauze and began to wrap it around 'Mr. No-Imagination's' hand gingerly.

Artemis snorted in disagreement. "I had enough imagination to believe fairies were not just mythilogical creatures."

"Ok, Artemis. Maybe you have a spark of imagination...D'Arvit!" Holly suddenly swore. "I really need to do the Ritual. The older I get, it seems, the more magic is used!" She undid more from the roll to get some around the human's fingers. Then she began to chuckle to herself. "That or it has just been used quicker ever since I met you!"

Artemis' eyes dialed on his hand because it wasn't Holly's face he was looking into. He zoomed back to the picture in the hallway. Now he was using up her magic?

"There," Holly announced. "That ought to help. It's infused with fairy magic so it will heal the wound faster. Now the water may have cooled down and it may be safe…" She turned and stuck a hand into the bath tub. "Yes, it's good. _I'm _going to leave and _you're _going to clean!"

Holly stood and picked up the gauze wrap. She left the room, closing the door behind her. She tried to think of something to yell into the bathroom to tease the human boy but couldn't think of one that wouldn't sound perverted.

_One day I will catch up, Mud Boy! One day!_

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><p><strong>They finally make it to work (I know, right? They take forever! Stupid water...you mean to Arty! :P). That will be a hard chapter for me. So much Science...so little my brain! :O <strong>

**P.S. I won't be posting the next chapter for a while because of vacation, so be patient with me, alright? THANX!**


	5. Disscussing from A to Z

**Hey, everyone! Sorry it took me so long to upload this. I was out of town and I hardly ever had any Wi-fi. But here it is now! Enjoy!**

**Artemis Fowl, Holly Short, and Foaly...the centaur all belong to Eoin Colfer. That's supposed to be good...right?**

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><p>Foaly had been waiting for Holly and Artemis for only ten minutes and he had already begun to grumble about it.<p>

"Where are they?" He wondered out loud. "They should have been here ten minutes ago! I have _very _important things to do." The centaur began to wonder about what could have happened. "They could have had to walk…no… What if they're having problems at Holly's apartment? Maybe the Mud Boy burned himself!" Foaly processed this thought then shook his head. "Nah; the boy is too smart to fall for such a stupid thing!"

He kept wondering. Something _did _come to mind and Foaly couldn't _JUST _think it. "What if they…no...Holly wouldn't allow with him only _sixteen. _Or would she…?"

Foaly now just couldn't help himself anymore. The centaur turned to his computer plasma screen and ran a search on Holly's helmet's tracker. It beeped as it searched for her position in Haven. After only five seconds, it came up that they were…just around the hall? What?

But sure enough there was a moment of silence and then an alert popped up on Foaly's screen about someone at the door and in a robotic voice, read: **Captain Holly Short. Accept? **

"Accept, computer," Foaly ordered.

It replied: **Accepting Captain Holly Short. **The door opened with a hiss and there stood Holly and Artemis. Both walked in, Holly slipping her helmet off and Artemis twisting his communication ring around on his (unburned) finger.

"Morning, Foaly!" Holly chimed.

"Long time, no see, donkey boy," Artemis snickered.

Foaly whinnied and retorted, "And for a good reason, apparently. Besides, I've been busy with Cabelline…she's been acting strange lately. Though for what I've heard, you've been doing pretty well yourself, love boy!" At this comment, both Holly and the 'love boy' glared at the genius centaur. "Kidding!"

"Better be," Holly warned through clenched teeth. She relaxed her jaw and took a deep breath in. "I've got to go. You two feel free to…do what you need to. Artemis-I'll be back at around 9 for lunch. Try not to do anything to stupid!"

Artemis raised an eyebrow at her. "Holly, me? Doing something stupid?" He then traced her gaze to his bandaged hand. "_That _was an accident!"

"Mmmhmm…" The elf said, turning to the door. She put her helmet on and the door opened before her. She walked through and it hissed as it closed behind her.

"Jeez, Mud Boy. I don't know how you do it," Foaly said when the Mud Boy in question turned to join him at the computers.

"Do what, exactly?" Artemis asked.

"Well," Foaly continued. "I don't understand how you manage to stay a friend to Holly. You keep at each other's throats, really. And knowing Holly…she can get angry pretty easily. I mean, she almost entirely _hated _you after the Fowl Manor Siege. Perhaps it was the whole Opal Koboi thing after that...and now I'm starting to think what Orion had said last year is true..."

"No…not at all. Anyway…back to why I came here," Artemis quickly changed the subject.

Foaly found the perfect opportunity to tease the Mud Boy. "Right, like _this _is the reason you agreed to come down here…" He was disappointed when Artemis didn't even turn a shade pink. But when he didn't reply, he got a tad feeling of triumph. The centaur just returned to the computer.

After a moment or two, Artemis spoke. "Cabelline hasn't been feeling good so you say?"

Foaly was startled more or less by this sudden comment. "Why…yes. She's been moody and a little sick. One minute it's 'Hi, dear! How was your day?' then it's 'Arrgh! Why must _I _always cook?' I don't really get it. I've got a few rationalizations. One: It's her time of the month…"

Artemis coughed into a fist. "If you are only complaining about that _now _and not last month, I would rule that one out."

"Hmm…that's what I thought. Two: She's having a bad time at work," Foaly added.

"She would _always _be distressed if it was work. And I'm not sure about the sickness with work unless it's stress…which still ties in with the moodiness."

Foaly nodded, still clicking away on the computer. "And finally, my third reason: Could she be pregnant?"

Had Artemis been drinking something, a massive spit-take would have resulted.

"Hmm…" He commented while collecting his thoughts. "Actually that would make the most sense out of your three possibilities. You should ask her to err…" He searched for the right word. "Investigate? You get the point."

"Mmmhmm…" Foaly hummed.

It was almost four hours later. Foaly and Artemis had found out there was a strong magnetic source somewhere in Dublin, obscuring the line to Fowl Manor. Artemis was sitting in a corner tinkering in his mind about a new invention while Foaly was typing up a report on why the connection had been lost.

"Say, Fowl," Foaly demanded after a moment's rest. "Tell me something."

"What is it you'd like me to tell you?" Artemis asked, shifting in the small fairy chair.

Foaly shifted his weight to the left side of his body. "You've known Holly for about five years and yet you've never said exactly how you feel about all of us. _Especially _our dear friend, Holly."

This comment was like a bomb being dropped into Artemis' stomach and yet he kept cool. "I haven't? I assumed my actions around you and the others surely said enough to get my point across. Not counting Orion's occasional outbursts. "

Foaly considered this. "Alright, I suppose it does. Then let me rephrase the question: How do you feel about Holly? You act somewhat differently every time."

At this, Artemis thought back to their last real adventure back in time at Rathdown Park. Particularly the time Holly had healed him and '_sealed it with a kiss'._

"Ah yes," the boy stated. "The Captain."

"_Ah_ indeed."

"I mean she's always been a friend. Well…other than before the B'wa Kell rebellion. That's most likely all we'll ever be." Artemis could tell that even Foaly knew he was trying to lie.

The centaur trotted over to a rack of technological instruments. "Here's another question: What do you _want_ to be? I know Orion sure did go on an on about Holly..."

_What do I want us to be? _Artemis questioned himself. He knew that when he was younger-around thirteen and fourteen-he had always just seen Holly as another female like Juliet or Mother. But then after the last few misadventure, he'd begun to really look differently at the elf. Granted, he was almost acting like a normal 16 year-old boy would around a girl.

Artemis never really did answer the question.

The two males stayed there in silence until an alert popped up on the screen.

"**Captain Holly Short"**, the computer said. **"Accept?"**

"Accept," Foaly replied.

"**Accepting Captain Holly Short."**

The door opened with a pneumatic hiss and once again Holly walked in. She took her helmet off and shook her head. "Apparently a dwarf got a little confused on what way to go to get back to the mines and ended up aboveground. That or he was trying to get a taste of surface of air. Frond help us, they get crazier every year!" She complained.

"What?" Artemis asked confused.

"St. Patrick's Day. It's the day after tomorrow…didn't you know?"

The Irish teenager shook his head. "I hardly keep up with those kinds of things. Mother decorates the house and always keeps a count-down calendar, so I have no need to put holidays on my computer calendars or anything like that. And if that doesn't work, Beckett runs around the night before screaming the name of the holiday."

Foaly and Holly stared at the boy like he had just said that he would dress up in a pink Lolita dress and have a tea party with stuffed animals.

"I swear you could have said you'd dress up in a pink Lolita dress and have a tea party with stuffed animals and would've thought you less strange than if you just said what you did," Foaly admitted.

"Certainly," Holly agreed. "Really Artemis? A 16 year-old boy doesn't even keep a simple calendar with holiday dates on them?" He shook his head and Holly sighed in desperation. "Should have known."

"Anyway, I'm guessing it's time for lunch?" The Mud Boy assumed, standing from the awkward chair.

"Yes it is," the Captain replied. "I was thinking pizza!" When Artemis made a face, Holly couldn't help but laugh. "Joking, Mud Boy!"

"Am I missing something here?" Foaly asked.

"You are, actually," Holly commented, flicking her hair to get some out of her face. "Oh well. C'mon, genius boy. I'm hungry!" Holly turned and walked out of the room.

"Good luck, _genius boy_!" Foaly laughed as Artemis followed.

The door closed with a _hiss _and locked behind them.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello to my kind readers. I have some bad news: I have decided to stop with the Artemis Fowl Fanfictions. Between school, my own book, family problems, piano practice, and friends, its just gotten to hard for me to continue. The gears stopped turning and so have the creative juices. I might pick it back up again someday, but for now I am sorry to say-Bye. ;(<strong>


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